the blogfessional

i've posted nude pictures of myself on the internet

Eastern European women on Friendster find me irresistible.

I'm in love with someone I met on Friendster:

I don't exercise as much as I should, especially for the amount of cheesecake I ate at lunch.

Even though I never stop talking and am uncontrollably gregarious, I am secretly a shy person and suffer for it all.

one of my co-workers recently started dating a guy she met online. she's always been cool with me so part of me wants it to work out for her. but another bigger part of me wants her to get her heart broken. the guy sounds kinda shady so I think that's what's probably going to happen.

ligers are like cougers, but even more deadly and more sexy

I lied about having to go to a meeting just so I could have some time alone.

I like haraassing people on neopets.com.

I enjoy confessing to things I haven't really done

happiness for me is a zero-sum game

I was really hoping Wilma was going to be stronger when it hit Florida even though it would end up costing me more money in the end.

I pick my nose and hide it under furniture

Sometimes I pretend to be a communist, but I know it's just a pose

I believe Iraq would be better off with Saddam still in power. Really. I believe America would be, too.

i had sex with a rabbitt

I'm passive aggressive, too. That's why I like email.

Fat people I know disgust me. Fat people I don't know turn me on.

confessions are like emotional spam for the teenage soul

some people say i'm passive aggressive. i guess i am. but i don't know if that's a flaw. in the old days, passive aggression is what they called civility.

I ate soup that might have contained chicken broth even though I am a vegetarian

This is God who art in the Internet. What kind of spam filtering are you using on this? I don't want to be unduly bothered.

I snuck a peak

I once mispronounced the word "looped" while talking with my 9th grade English teacher and I've never forgiven myself for it. I pronounced it with a long O as in "loam". At the time I thought the word meant "confused" because I had read "loopy" used in a comic book as a euphemism for "drunk"

I fantasize about doing evil things in the name of a greater good

I procrastinate a lot and then do many things in a half-assed way at the last minute

I download episodes of the Family Guy off the internet, even though it's on Cartoon Network several times a week.

I had carnal thoughts about the old man next door. I myself am an old man.

i did not do anything at work today. i was only pretending that i did.

I have killed a cockroach with canned air.

I have ascribed consciousness to my cat.

I clicked links in two spam emails. But this was before spam was a widespread cultural phenomenon.

I never really had the discipline or the recklessness to be a writer. To be a writer, I understand now that you have to be truly interested in people. I was always more interested in ideas about people.

I voted for George W. Bush two times. I'd vote for him a third.

I haven't had a pleasant bowel movement in over two weeks.

I use Internet Explorer.

I am a Dodgers fan.

I was the first one out in both hold'em games we played last night. Lame.

I passed on the shoulder on my way to work this morning.

I stayed up way too late and I have to get up early tomorrow.

I have been a fool and a noob. I have used PHP's strpos() in a conditional where the needle is found at position 0.